Dating 101

Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl like each other.
Boy asks girl out.
They date for about two weeks, break up over text, and by the next week are dating someone else, until eventually they find "the one", and get married after living with each other for months.

The typical dating cycle.

In my opinion, there's something wrong with this picture.

Should finding a  future spouse, be so casual?

I believe in a little word called, "courting".

Yes, I know... it sounds old-fashioned and weird, but it's a good way to find a future spouse!

So what is courtship, anyways?

Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl become friends and talk in a group.
Boy and girl pray about their future, (separately, of course) as they wait until the right time.
Years, months, or in rare occasions, even weeks later, the boy talks to his parents and makes a decision.
Does he really want to pursue a relationship with a particular girl?
Does he really want to spend the rest of his life with that girl?
Is the Lord leading him in a particular direction concerning a particular female?

If the answer to all those questions is "yes", then it's time for action.

What happens next?

The boy talks, privately, to the girl's father, expressing his admiration for his daughter, and asks permission to court her, with the intention of marriage later on down the road.
Over the course of the next few weeks, the father talks to mother about the boy, then they talk to the daughter, if they are both in agreement.
They pray as a family about it, waiting for the Lord's direction.
Once, the family comes to a decision... the courtship can officially begin.

What exactly do you do during a courtship?

Well, courtship is practically the same thing as dating, except the guy and girl are never alone, together (understandably, of course).
They are always in a group environment, with one or two mature adults, as their friendship grows, and they learn more about each other.

How long does it last?

A courtship can last from a week (though not advisable) to a few years. It all depends on the age and maturity of the couple. Are they ready to get married? Buy a home? Start a family? Is their relationship growing in the Lord? Do they have the same standards and convictions?
If the answer is "yes", then it's time to get engaged, and a few months later, marriage follows.

What are the "physical boundaries" in a courtship?

The boundaries in a courtship can vary with the couple and their family.

When I'm courting, holding hands is the extent of physical touching, for me.
No hugs, no kissing (until my wedding day), nor anything else.
I'm ok with sitting next to my "suitor" and an occasional arm around my shoulder is permissible.
In fact, I wouldn't mind that at all. ;)


Anyways, to wrap this post up, I just wanted to give my thoughts on dating and explain courtship.

I hope I clarified a few things and didn't confuse ya'll too much!

The next post will be much more interesting, I promise! ;)