It's about time I write, again.
This hiatus has been far too long.
I must say, I missed this little blog, whether anyone reads it or not. I had decided the best place to start would be to continue my biblical femininity series. (A few months ago I wrote my first post in the series about modesty.)
But, sometimes the Lord has other plans.
I felt prompted to share something that I am struggling with personally.
Who knows? Someone could be reading this and be going through the same issue. If you are, I pray I will be an encouragement to you!
Right now is a time in my life where I feel like I have hit a dead end. Sure, I'm doing new things... going to college, meeting new people, writing my first novel. But I still am wrestling with a feeling of complete impatience.
I'm going to get real, here.
I'm 17 years old. That "in-between age" where you're so close to being a 'legal adult', yet so far away. That age where I know I'm too young to begin a relationship, yet still wishing it could happen.
"Well why don't you go ahead and date, then?" You ask.
To which I respond, "What's the point of dating, if I'm not ready for marriage?"
"True. But why all the complaining, Savannah?"
To put it plainly... I'm sick of waiting.
I feel like my life can't begin until I'm 18. It sounds crazy, I know.
The Solution: I need to get a grip and focus on the present!
I need to get busy, stay active, and do something productive with this time I have now!
I need to take advantage of the fact that I don't have a boyfriend or a husband to consume my hours or children to keep an eye on 24/7 or bills that need to be paid by the end of the month.
This is an opportunity for me to branch out and try new things. Complete tasks that I have already begun. Focus on school and building godly friendships. Work on finishing my first novel.
Of course while doing all of this, I still have to deal with guys and my relationships with them.
The best thing you can do at this age is maintain healthy friendships with the guys you know. Get to know them and their beliefs.
Are they a Christian? What are their character flaws? Do we share the same standards and convictions? Could I consider them as a future spouse?
There are many things to take into consideration at this stage of "observation" as my Pastor dubs it.
While there are many ways you can get to know someone of the opposite gender while in a group, there is one problem I have with it...
I'm never fully myself in groups.
For me, personally, I feel out of place in a circle of three or more people. It can get overwhelming and I feel like I have to be less talkative just in case I say something stupid.
Call me sensitive, but it's reality.
Another reason I believe it isn't the best idea to "get to know someone" in a large group is I almost never have the courage to talk to someone I might be observing specifically.
Sure, we might be friends and talk other times, but when there are more than just a few of our peers around, I get intimidated and chicken out.
I feel like if I talk to someone I have feelings for then the people with us will be watching and assume I like so and so. I've been the victim of gossip in this area so many times before that I am overly cautious that it doesn't happen again.
Therefore in groups I can't always comfortably communicate with someone I would like to "get to know" before we pursue a romantic relationship.
By "getting to know", I mean observing the said person by learning their standards, beliefs, likes, dislikes; how do they respond in certain situations? How are they handling their finances? Do they have a steady income? How do they treat their parents? So on and so forth.
It is, in other words, becoming good friends with someone of the opposite gender and in the process finding out if they would possibly make a suitable mate, if our friendship ever lead to that.
In conclusion, if you feel yourself becoming sort of antsy with your current situation, learn to take advantage of your time as a single young person.
Be productive and don't just sit around at home waiting for a tall, dark, handsome stranger to come knocking on your door.
Don't be pining away for a certain someone counting down the days until you reach the "golden age of courtship", whatever that may be.
Pray for wisdom and patience. Remember that although the waiting seems difficult, now, it will all be worth it in the end!
I should probably wrap this post up as I'm noticing that I'm going off in a hundred different rabbit trails. I promise next time my thoughts will be more organized! Maybe I will even write the next article in my Femininity Series.
Thanks for reading and have a lovely day. :-)
Don't forget to comment down below and let me know if this post helped you in any way! (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge)
