To Gnaw or Not to Gnaw...That, is the Question.

My grandma and I went to Chili's for lunch, today.

The conversation went as follows:

"Ummm... so do I hold the bone and bite off of it, then?" 

I glanced down at the rack of ribs on the plate in front of me , oozing with barbecue sauce (ok, "oozing" probably wasn't the best word to use in this situation.)

"Why not?" My grandma wondered.

I snuck a peak at the full booth directly across from us. 

My gaze moved to the tables behind and in front of us.

"You want me to actually bite into a rib, with all these people watching?!" I gasped.

"Savannah. No one's watching you eat."

"I can feel their stares penetrating through my soul!"

"Just eat it. Who cares what they think. It's not like you're going to see them, again.

She had a good point.

So, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly held the rib up to my mouth, prepared for the worst (biting into a piece of fat, for example).

After taking a small bite, my eyes flew open, and I scanned the premises for enemy spies.

No one must ever know my secret.

As I took my second bite, I decided to keep my eyes open and alert.

Suddenly, I caught movement in my peripheral vision coming from the left side of me.

My head snapped around, only to be looking into the eyes of.... 

"Would you like a refill?"

Our disgustingly optimistic waitress held out her jug of water, with a plastered Colgate smile on her face.

I let my rib drop onto my plate.

*slow motion falling*

I was caught red-handed.

I considered my options of escape.

I could always slide, undetected, underneath our table.

But then, there was always the threat of dust bunnies and month old chewed gum.

"Ma'am?" 

I shook my head to focus, as the waitress waited for me to reply.

I had to move... and I had to move fast.

"Bathroom. Too much water." I managed to mutter before bolting from our booth to the bathroom, locking myself in a stall.

Oh, the humiliation I had suffered!

Never shall I lay my fingers on another rib!

Ok... maybe the above story was a bit of an exaggeration. 

But, the internal debate of "to gnaw or not gnaw" is a question that nags us all, when seated in any eating establishments.

Have you ever had any awkward eating situations?